Saturday, April 23, 2011

put a fading executive on ice or toss him into the fire?

Why is it that, at the highest levels of corporate America, executives are even more hesitant to deal with poor performance, conflict and the TRUTH?  During my 20 years i have seen many senior ranking leaders self destruct and be asked to leave (fired).  And usually with fat severance agreements that carry them forward a year or two with all the perks of being an active executive, maybe a nice outplacement package and possibly a pleasant "spin" on reality courtesy of public relations.  But when it comes to the execs that have put in their time....and have slowly become irrelevant.....we hesitate to help them leave with grace.  Instead we put them in fake jobs, store them in distant corner offices, give them lofty yet meaningless titles and allow them to wander the halls of the C-suite.  You might ask:  what harm is there in letting them hang out until they rot (or die)?  My answer:  this is the worst thing you can do.  The fake exec often pines for the days of power and glory, meddles in his or her predecessor's businesses, stirs the pot and more often than not is painfully aware that he's no longer a player.  Maybe even worse, the CEO loses credibility every time.....he or she feels good that they have given the fading executive a role....but the next tier of executives see right through it.  With a beloved pet, we "put them down."  With a chronically ill loved one, we hope that Hospice will help let them leave with dignity and without pain.  We need a solution for the fading executive -- maybe there is a corporate Hospice skyscraper -- a place we can send them all to pretend that they still have jobs and are relevant?  Do you have a better answer? I'd love to hear it....

Friday, April 15, 2011

Corporate Whores Can Change.....



Every now and then you run across an inspiring story and you realize that not all whores take the same well traveled road. Last time I was in LA (yes, it was for a corporate function), I found myself in need of a neck tie. After a wonderful brunch in West Hollywood, I happened upon a small boutique men's shop called Duncan Quinn. The gentleman that was minding the store had a charming accent and was from England, I believe. He told my colleague and I about his former career as an advertising executive....and that it was eating him alive....he walked away from it all to work for a designer (and brand) that he believed in. From the high-pressured halls of corporate America to a small, trendy boutique shop that does made-to-measure men's suits and also has a barber on-site, complete with fine scotch and cigars. Probably sounds like a bad choice to you, but I must tell you, after talking with him, buying a necktie and a croquet shirt I began to see his passion for the customer, the merchandise, the brand and the lifestyle.  It made me ask, once again: Who's the fool?


Saturday, April 9, 2011

You're Never Too Old to Sell It!


OK people....I've been away for a while....but I'm trying to reconnect with my inner (and outer) prostitute. And last night I was given the inspiration to get back to the keyboard. Over dinner with dear friends I was reminded that there are many ways to sell yourself, no matter what your age or assets. Turns out my friend's senior citizen mother (76 years old) has tapped into a revenue stream that I had never considered: she has discovered that medical schools will pay top dollar to study her vagina. It's real simple....she shows up for class, gets into the stirrups, puts a sheet over her head and the students get to view, poke and prod her womanhood for the duration of class, in the spirit of understanding female anatomy. One hour = $500.00. Now, that's pretty good, I think. My question for her: how was class last night?